Them!

There was an old horror movie made back in 1954 by the title of "Them!". This movie centered around ants that were mutated into horrible killing giants by atomic testing in New Mexico. These ants were taking over the town and well..killing folks. They were not the nicest of all critters so they were eliminated. Hmmm..well, I do not have giant ants..actually, much the opposite. I have teeny, tiny ants but masses of them. Ever since Hurricane Katrina, our place has been inundated with some new ants. We used to have fire ants occasionally but those were easy to kill. These new ones..it seems impossible to eradicate THEM!

It would not be so bad if these nasty, little creatures played nice. They do not! They are quite the vicious biters..and these bites are every bit as painful as those of the fire ants. What bothers me most? The sheer number of these little guys. They are everywhere..by the millions. No matter where you go in the yard, you will get bitten. Ants are under flower pots, ants are in flower pots, ants are in flowers. Ants are in the trees, ants are in the bushes, ants are in the mulch. Ants are under the walkways, ants are on top of the fence, ants are in the pier posts. Do not sit on the grass for you will be covered..and will be bitten. Do not sit in the lawn chairs..unless you prop your feet up well off of the ground. Do not dig in the gardens..do not cut the grass..do not water the plants..you will be bitten. This is not fun anymore. I just do not know what to do about ridding the place of these things! I just want THEM to go away!

I have been told that they are a species of ant called Crazy Ants. I am quite sure that the name is not proper..they are more the "Drive-you-crazy Ants". If you are anywhere near them, masses of them will spill from the ground and engulf you in just minutes. I have watched them from a safe distance and they seem to run around at full speed just randomly picking up things. There does not seem to be a pattern to their running..no following a direct path nor playing Follow-the-leader like other ants. These scurry around like a bunch of chickens with their heads chopped off, hence the name "Crazy Ants". Makes sense to me! This name fits THEM!

I have tried several environmentally friendly methods to destroy their nests. It has not worked. Club Soda poured down the holes did nothing except give them something to drink. Cornmeal sprinkled on the ground was greeted as a fine feast! Dish soap kept them nice and clean. Nothing eliminated my problem..I am about to break one of my hard-fast rules and use some chemical! I try not to pollute the ground, but my goodness!..this is crazy! I have one last effort to be made before I start pouring some chemical in the ground..boiling water! An elderly uncle informed me that I should pour boiling water down the nest hole..at least two gallons per nest. Now, I am not sure that Uncle Stanley realizes that my entire hill is completely inhabited by the ants..but I will try. Toting that much boiling water is going to be interesting! I know that I just have to get rid of THEM!