Don't Let Them Slip Away....

   As I was watering the remains of the garden, a lone dandelion fluttered gently in the breeze.  Occasionally, a wispy seed would float off the stalk and go flying away to become the next generation of happy little plants.  I was so tempted to do the whole "dandelion blow" thing but refrained.  What would people think if they saw me blowing seeds from a dead weed?  So, instead of doing something impetuous, I merely kept watering.  I kept doing what I was supposed to be doing.  I kept being bound by what was instilled in me long ago.  The brain wanted to cut loose and be free to do something spontaneous but expectations of what I was supposed to be got in the way.  My dandelion moment slipped away as the spray from the hose hit the stalk and the waterlogged seeds simply drooped soggily to the ground.  

  It is funny how we are bound to what was drilled into our heads at an early age.  I was taught to fit a tight mold of how my parents and grandparents thought children should grow into adults.  It was my duty to help others even if it made me exhausted and boring.  I was to be the wife, mother, grandmother, aunt and friend that everyone needed whenever they needed.  I was taught to handle my own problems without troubling others.  I was taught that I should stick to these goals even if it meant giving up my life as a person to do so.  For the longest time, I felt that "my" life was unimportant as long as everyone else was prospering and happy.  Just recently, I had a quiet time with my daughter and she asked "Mom, what do you want?  Really, what do you want out of life?  You have always encouraged me to step up, reach out and obtain whatever goals I dreamt but what do you want?"  I never thought of it that way.  My life was slipping away without me ever really fulfilling any dreams.  My dandelion moments were quickly slipping like sand in an hourglass.

  Why do we sometimes fall in these traps where everything we do is for the betterment of all others while we let ourselves slip away into oblivion?  That needs to change.  At Darling Daughter's insistence, I am taking some small, baby steps into exploring what I want,  She keeps after me so there is no turning back.  While my big life changes may seem to be minuscule alongside other folks', they are mountainous to me.  One step at a time...one dandelion moment at a time.  I will not let the next one (whatever it may be) glide away without at least trying.