Don't Let Them Slip Away....

   As I was watering the remains of the garden, a lone dandelion fluttered gently in the breeze.  Occasionally, a wispy seed would float off the stalk and go flying away to become the next generation of happy little plants.  I was so tempted to do the whole "dandelion blow" thing but refrained.  What would people think if they saw me blowing seeds from a dead weed?  So, instead of doing something impetuous, I merely kept watering.  I kept doing what I was supposed to be doing.  I kept being bound by what was instilled in me long ago.  The brain wanted to cut loose and be free to do something spontaneous but expectations of what I was supposed to be got in the way.  My dandelion moment slipped away as the spray from the hose hit the stalk and the waterlogged seeds simply drooped soggily to the ground.  

  It is funny how we are bound to what was drilled into our heads at an early age.  I was taught to fit a tight mold of how my parents and grandparents thought children should grow into adults.  It was my duty to help others even if it made me exhausted and boring.  I was to be the wife, mother, grandmother, aunt and friend that everyone needed whenever they needed.  I was taught to handle my own problems without troubling others.  I was taught that I should stick to these goals even if it meant giving up my life as a person to do so.  For the longest time, I felt that "my" life was unimportant as long as everyone else was prospering and happy.  Just recently, I had a quiet time with my daughter and she asked "Mom, what do you want?  Really, what do you want out of life?  You have always encouraged me to step up, reach out and obtain whatever goals I dreamt but what do you want?"  I never thought of it that way.  My life was slipping away without me ever really fulfilling any dreams.  My dandelion moments were quickly slipping like sand in an hourglass.

  Why do we sometimes fall in these traps where everything we do is for the betterment of all others while we let ourselves slip away into oblivion?  That needs to change.  At Darling Daughter's insistence, I am taking some small, baby steps into exploring what I want,  She keeps after me so there is no turning back.  While my big life changes may seem to be minuscule alongside other folks', they are mountainous to me.  One step at a time...one dandelion moment at a time.  I will not let the next one (whatever it may be) glide away without at least trying. 

Another..who knew???

Again, I have to ask..who knew? This time it is about centipedes. I was out working in the yard and turned over a rotted pine log to move it to the burn pile. Before burning anything, I always check it for toads, lizards, mice, etc. since I really do not want to burn them. This time, to my surprise, there was a mother centipede with a whole slew of eggs. She was wrapped tightly around this bundle of eggs as if to protect them. I have never seen this before, as matter of fact, I always assumed that centipedes were like most other bugs that would "lay 'em and leave 'em". This centipede was trying hard to hold onto these eggs so I very gently put the log back down on the ground. Now I know that I will probably regret this as I have been bitten by these vicious little monsters and they HURT! I mean really hurt! I just had the opportunity to rid my yard of about fifty of them at one time and I (stupidly) let them live. Geez, I am a sucker for babies..even baby centipedes!

I came in and decided to research centipede egg-laying just to make sure of what I had just seen. Sure enough, there is one type of the bug that does lay its eggs in rotted logs and she does curl around them to protect them. The mother even licks the eggs to free them from mold spores that would consume them. Such a good mother bug! Anyway..who knew? I did not! At least this log is way down the hill near the marsh and not near my house! Stay away, little bugs, stay away!

Sometimes, it is hard to let go of things from the past. A favorite dish, and old toy, pictures or even memories. This week, I have been cleaning cabinets and I must say, I am rather proud that I have been parting with things. I have several huge boxes of just "stuff" that was cluttering up my house for a number of years. I feel good about the orderly cabinets in my kitchen and have no qualms about parting with these items. One thing, I could not part with this week was not really an item but rather a quirky little action. Something that I (and probably you) did as a kid. Earlier this week, I noticed a dandelion had sprung up right outside my front door. Dandelions, as you well know, are not the most showy flowers. This one caught my eye, though, and I waited with anticipation until this morning! I went out and carefully picked my dandelion. It was gorgeous! I held it high in the air and..poof!..I blew! Seeds floated gently on the breeze like tiny little faeries. I was a kid again..standing there watching my seed faeries dancing on the wind. Sheer bliss. (Unless, of course, anyone saw me. Then I would have to start explaining the smile on my face and start defending my sanity!)