Smells from the Garden!

Just mentioning a rose garden conjures up memories of wonderful scents that float upon the breezes. I have about twenty-five rose bushes bordering the fences of an enclosed garden. This picture from earlier in the year shows some of the "antique" climbing roses that are on the fence. I do call this my "Rose Garden" even though there are blueberry bushes, herbs and daylilies mingled in with the roses. I love the little garden and in Spring, the area smells delightful. Even though it is far from Spring, today's walk brought back memories of odors all right..memories of not so wonderful odors. I keep the garden under the roses heavily mulched and that brings some unwanted guests. As I wandered about today, a nasty odor accosted me. Oh, yuck! Devil's Toadstool! Stinkhorn! King's Crown! Whatever you call them..they stink! Actually, these stinky things are Clathrus Columnatus, or the Columned Stinkhorn, They will pop up anywhere but seem to love mulch..and I have a lot of mulch! So I have a lot of stinkhorns. These things smell a lot like poop! And I am not particularly fond of stinky poop! I have been trying rid the yard of my Clathrus Columnatus by digging them out of the mulch and discarding them on the burn pile. Dumb! These things do not act like normal, old, run-of-the-mill mushrooms. They do not spread their little spore things by poofing them out like dragons breathing smoke. Oh, no...that would make it far to easy to eradicate them! Instead they get critters to do the dirty work for them. All that stink invites flies, gnats and crawly critters to dine upon the goo inside the arms of the fungus. Then these same creatures unwittingly plant more stinkhorns by..wait for it..pooping. Then a strange thought comes to mind...Why would anything want to eat something that smells so bad? Beats me..but they do and then when nature calls, more of these smelly entities are strewn throughout my gardens. I am so happy..right? Are you kidding? These things are awful. Anyway..as I said I have been trying to rid the yard of them but to no avail. So...I think I will embrace these as exotic additions to the garden! I will tell people that they are some strange beings that have taken up residence in the mulch. Perhaps if I can come up with a convincing story of how rare they are, no one will question the stench that bushwhacks the olfactory system. .... "Yes..these lovely fiery red 'shrooms are amazing!" "I searched high and low to find such exquisite specimens for my gardens!" "The Clathrus Columnatus is my pride and joy!"... Well, do you think that will work? Something tells me that it won't. Something tells me that no matter what I do these things will still vex me for years to come. Something tells me that perhaps I should just accept some of what nature throws at me and not complain. Or most likely, I will still hold my nose and dig the smelly things out of the garden all the while thinking I am doing something of some use. Yep, most likely.