The Importance of a Screen Door

  While most folks understand the utilitarian function of a good screen door, not many can grasp the full importance of the piece.  A good screen door is just about the most important feature of a home other than a front porch.  (Which by the way, is fully being reconsidered as a feature of the Little Bayou House!  Yes, please!  I miss my porch.)  But back to that screen door.  In the Deep South, screen doors a sort of a status symbol.  It is an unwritten code that signifies that you are truly from the South and not some wannabe southerner.  We know you by your door.  

  First, down here, most screen doors are painted one color...black.  All of the new-fangled colors are not something we prefer.  The screen door should match the window screens that serve the same utilitarian purpose as the screen on the door...they all keep out the bugs.  Anybody that has lived here a while knows that a black screen door does not attract deer flies.  Those pesky, biting flies (along with most other flying, biting insects) swarm light colors so, black is the color of choice.  As soon as the weather warms to about 60 degrees, all of the windows and doors are flung open to "freshen up the place".  The winter doldrums are wafted out on the breeze but who wants biting critters inside the house??

  Another thing that tells us that you are from the area is how you use the door.  The decorative doodads that embellish the door are not a way to open the door.  Also, true southerners NEVER push on the screen!  That is a big no-no!  The screen is hard to replace!  To open and close the door, there are handles...all screen doors have them.  They are neat little things.  We cannot have torn screens or busted doodads.  That just does not set well with us.  Don't mess with a southerner's screen door or there may be trouble brewing.

  Then there is one last thing (and probably the most important thing) that distinguishes the wannabes from the honest to goodness southerners.  When someone comes calling, and this is important, the door is an integral indication as to whether the guest is welcome.  Welcome guests are met with the door being flung open and a "Come on in!" while those that are not as happily received are met with conversation through the screen door.  It is not opened.  In fact, more oft than not, the home owner's hand will casually reach up and throw the latch on the door especially if the caller is a stranger.  This is reason enough for the caller to make a hasty retreat.  It is a sign that, although pleasantries are being made through the screen, you are not going to come in for a glass of sweet tea.  

  So, aside from keeping out bugs, the screen door can identify a true southerner merely by being there, being painted black and by how it is used.  New homes seem sorely lacking in this essential feature.  Future generations will never understand the importance of the screen door.