Sunrise...Sunset...And A Whole Lot Of Feelings In Between

  A long, long time ago, I sat on a step weeping over the passing of my grandmother. While the adults were discussing important things, I was sort of left to deal with this blow by myself.  To be honest, I had no idea of how to cope with such a loss.  Never before had anyone close to me died.  I was shocked, saddened and, to be honest, scared.  Sure, growing up on the farm, we saw our share of death but this was different.  THIS was my grandmother...the lady who told me sweet stories about the flowers in her gardens....the lady who soothed my bedtime fears with a cup of milk and a couple of cookies served in her finest teacups....the lady who was the epitome of the perfect Southern grandmother.  She could not leave this world without me.  Her passing was such a shock.  I knew she was ill but no one told me that it had come to this.  When we arrived at my grandparents' home, I was told to "Go sit outside.  Grandmother has died and we (meaning the adults) need to talk."  So, I went to the steps to grieve in my own confused way.

  After being there for a short time, my Aunt Marie (who lived next door) came to console me.  She talked with me a great while as we sat together on the steps.  Aunt Marie explained a lot of things that had never been discussed before.  She explained death in a beautiful way and helped me to accept what had happened.  Then, she just sat beside me and let me grieve.  Her presence was so comforting.

  One of the things Aunt Marie told me has stuck with me for a lifetime.  She compared life to the sunrises and sunsets that we observe here on the Bayou.  The sunrises are the start of a new day.  We go about our business during the day and make life the best it can be.  Then comes the sunset and we are given rest from our daily trials and frustrations.  We always have the idea that morning will come anew and we will have a fresh start. Sunrise gives us hope for eternal life...that our lives will begin again.  Sunsets are compared to the end of our earthly life.  Just like a day ending being a time for rest, death is the ending of our time here and we are to be given peace.  At the time, I was listening to words...words spilling from the mouth of someone who cared that this kid was confused and hurting.   Aunt Marie took the time to try to explain life and death the best she could under the circumstances.  She did good.  I felt better knowing that Grandmother was not in pain any longer and that there was a great possibility that I would see her again some day.  It felt good knowing that someone recognized the fact that, even though I was just a kid, I had feelings.  

  This morning's sunrise was particularly beautiful and it brought back the memory of Aunt Marie helping me through a difficult time.  I miss her even after all of these years after her death.  Even though the sunrise brought a memory of a sad time, I looked at it as a beautiful time in my life.  So, Aunt Marie, if you are up there listening to me ramble, this sunrise is for you and all of the guidance you proffered so many years ago.  Hopefully, we will meet again some day, too.