Don't Let Them Slip Away....

   As I was watering the remains of the garden, a lone dandelion fluttered gently in the breeze.  Occasionally, a wispy seed would float off the stalk and go flying away to become the next generation of happy little plants.  I was so tempted to do the whole "dandelion blow" thing but refrained.  What would people think if they saw me blowing seeds from a dead weed?  So, instead of doing something impetuous, I merely kept watering.  I kept doing what I was supposed to be doing.  I kept being bound by what was instilled in me long ago.  The brain wanted to cut loose and be free to do something spontaneous but expectations of what I was supposed to be got in the way.  My dandelion moment slipped away as the spray from the hose hit the stalk and the waterlogged seeds simply drooped soggily to the ground.  

  It is funny how we are bound to what was drilled into our heads at an early age.  I was taught to fit a tight mold of how my parents and grandparents thought children should grow into adults.  It was my duty to help others even if it made me exhausted and boring.  I was to be the wife, mother, grandmother, aunt and friend that everyone needed whenever they needed.  I was taught to handle my own problems without troubling others.  I was taught that I should stick to these goals even if it meant giving up my life as a person to do so.  For the longest time, I felt that "my" life was unimportant as long as everyone else was prospering and happy.  Just recently, I had a quiet time with my daughter and she asked "Mom, what do you want?  Really, what do you want out of life?  You have always encouraged me to step up, reach out and obtain whatever goals I dreamt but what do you want?"  I never thought of it that way.  My life was slipping away without me ever really fulfilling any dreams.  My dandelion moments were quickly slipping like sand in an hourglass.

  Why do we sometimes fall in these traps where everything we do is for the betterment of all others while we let ourselves slip away into oblivion?  That needs to change.  At Darling Daughter's insistence, I am taking some small, baby steps into exploring what I want,  She keeps after me so there is no turning back.  While my big life changes may seem to be minuscule alongside other folks', they are mountainous to me.  One step at a time...one dandelion moment at a time.  I will not let the next one (whatever it may be) glide away without at least trying. 

Raging Storms, Backwards Steps and GOURDS!

  For some time now, it seems as if I move backward a lot more than I do forward.  At night before I sleep, I ponder all sorts of things that I need to do come the following morning.  I have good intentions but, for some odd reason or another, I never seem to even start.  One day, the washing machine refused to spin so I worked on it a bit until my finger became smashed beyond any use, so I went fishing.  Another day, the old Bayou Queen, Ms. Put, (the old cat) fell ill and needed attention.  You can probably imagine what the day entailed with that so there is no need in elaborating.  After cleaning up behind her for most of the day, I went fishing.  Then last night we had storms.  Torrential rains, fierce winds and....a leaky roof.  Well, there went the plans for decorating the Christmas Tree.  I did not go fishing, though, as the weather was still misbehaving a tad.  The roof was tended and hopefully drip, drip, drip will not be heard tonight as we, once again, are going to be under the gun weatherwise.  The old Bayou will be a wild place again tonight. Thunderstorms will roll through right about high tide.  The south wind will push the tide even higher so things on the pier had to be secured. The possibility of even more severe weather than last night could be interesting.  No drips, please!

  All of these distractions have kept me busy to the point that nothing...nada...zilch has been done on my mental list and surely, creativity has gone the wayside.  Today, however, I had inspiration!  A very nice lady inquired about some of my painted gourds.  I was bound and determined that I should start painting once again.  Other things can wait!   The gourds were all scrubbed clean and paints, brushes and gourds assembled.  It felt good to be back again.  My artistic side was in a giant slump until this.  

  Thank you, Ms. Marilyn, your kind words have inspired me to create! Perhaps now those backward steps won't seem so heavy and I can bounce forward with eagerness each morning!  Let the storms rage....I have a project!