Beware of the Mighty Grapefruit!

Have you ever thought of grapefruit as a potential weapon?  Perhaps you should!  All the hype about the end of the world and zombie attacks, recently was the basis of a dream that I had one night.  Several weeks ago, I dreamt that zombies were attacking the world!  My oldest son (being in the military and my hero!), was in battle with the..umm...enemy!  In my dream, he hurriedly placed a call to me demanding that I bar my self inside the Little Bayou House until the whole ordeal was over.  Ha!  That would never work!  I told him that I had grapefruit that needed picking!  Sounds just about like something that I would deem more important than a zombie attack!  Anyway, the dream continued with Michael up in the grapefruit tree and me on the ground catching fruit that he would toss to me.  Suddenly....ZOMBIES!  EVERYWHERE!  Michael (being my hero in the dream!) beaned one zombie with a grapefruit and the rascal disintegrated!  WHEW!  Well, now we knew!  Zombies are highly allergic to grapefruit!  I called Mark and he informed the big guys in the government that he was confiscating all grapefruit in the country to eradicate the bad guys!  Not too shabby of a dream!  I always knew grapefruit was healthy for you but I just never knew it would save the world!

Seriously, I would be wary around the fruit, though.  I know there are a lot of complications if grapefruit is eaten by folks that are using certain medications but this has nothing to do with such stuff.  Grapefruit can be highly dangerous!  I have proof!  Michael and I headed to the woodpile this afternoon to restock the bins for the night.  It was to be a cold, wintry night on the Bayou and the woodstoves would need stoking a good bit.  As we passed under the two large grapefruit trees, I spied what could have been a tragic incident had one of us been under the tree a few days ago.  On Christmas Eve and then again on Christmas Day, the weather was atrocious. It rained and winds were whipping the about the hillside something awful!  All of that wind knocked a few of the grapefruit from the branches.  Most were retrieved once the weather cleared and will be made into marmalade but one was missed.  Mark has a weight bench sitting under the shade of the trees.  As we walked passed this bench, I noticed that a large grapefruit had fallen from the branch and impaled itself on the upright bar of the bench!  The metal shaft had split the rind of the fruit and literally stabbed almost through it!  If the fruit had fallen with that much force, just what would it have done to my head???  I dread to think of the pain I might have endured!  Michael pulled the fruit from the metal post and inspected it.  Yep..it had sliced the fruit cleanly!  I do suppose the wind whipping about had catapulted the nearly one pound grapefruit with quite some force but still, I would not want one just falling on my noggin!  That would definitely hurt!

So...the moral of the story...if zombies attack....hurl grapefruit!   Perhaps the wholesome fruit might be the answer!  And if that is the case...I am ready as the two trees are still loaded with fruit! On the other hand, I guess Michael and I better get out there and start picking those things.  They can't hang on the tree forever..zombie attack or not!  Marmalade-making time has come to the Bayou.  I will be quite the busy person for the next few weeks!