Axes to grind while killing the woodshed!

My son, Michael, is a great one to mix up his sayings!  He is forever saying things like "He just isn't the brightest crayon in the tool shed." or " Don't count your chickens on a rainy day." or "  You are not the shiniest bulb in the bag of chips."    I find these things most amusing and giggle each time he intentionally musses some old saying up just to confuse or befuddled folks.  Perhaps, I am the only one that catches these slips of the tongue or the only one that finds them snicker-worthy but I listen carefully to see if I can catch him.  He does it often.

Today, I headed out with my basket to gather some of the many nuts that litter the ground beneath the old hickory tree.  Earlier in the fall, I tried my best to crack a few of these following detailed instructions that I found in an old magazine.  Ha!  I found it ridiculous to even attempt such a feat! I finally gave up my pursuit of the nutmeats inside and left the nuts to the squirrels.  There was such a overabundance of acorns that the squirrels have not even tasted the harder to crack hickory nuts.  The ground stayed littered.  Knowing that this will never do come this summer, I started gathering the nuts.  If left on the ground, the nuts will most likely bring destruction to my lawn mower this spring.  I pondered just what to do with the abundance of nuts.  My answer came in form of the woodstove!  

Actually, I came across this quite by accident.  Following the old "chestnuts on an open fire" idea, I tossed a few nuts on top of the stove to see if they would crack.  They did crack but they also charred!  I assume my woodstove might have proven to be a tad hot for the nuts but whatever, the nuts were worthless.  They were  promptly scraped off the stove and into the fire.  There, they burned brightly for a bit then turned to bright embers!  The heat was so welcome! The "aha" moment struck!  I could gather the nuts for fuel for the woodstove and hence save on firewood usage!

Hence..the mixed up sayings and a few snickers!  While out gathering the nuts, my mind rambled profusely.  It does not take a massive lot of thinking to pick up things and toss them in a basket so I amused myself by trying to think of how Michael would describe the chore.  After much pondering, I came up with his most likely explanation of the chore.  He would probably combine things like "killing two birds with one stone" and "having an axe to grind".  He would most likely refer to the knocking out of two chores at one time..the clearing the yard of hickory nuts while providing fuel of the woodstove but with a definite twist.  I could hear him saying something on the order of  "Well, if you grind your axe with two birds you can kill the woodshed with one stone."  Yep, that fully sounds like something I would be snickering about if he was gathering hickory nuts to burn in the woodstove!  After gathering and snickering, I grabbed my basketful of nuts and headed back inside to the welcome warmth of the old woodstove!